My first visit to the radiologist was 2 days after my last chemo. To be honest, I don't remember much that was said. I did warn Dr. G that I was still suffering from chemo brain and would not remember a lot. I still don't. The first few visits involved getting marked up for the nuking. They (the nukers) take magic markers and draw all over the area to be nuked. You have to be very careful to not wash off these marks. It is not easy taking a shower and not being able to wash your chest.
They put me on a stretcher/table with a "form" under me. This form molded to my back and head. Every day when I go I get on the table, on my "form" and they touch up my marks. You have to lie with your hands over your head. They then adjust me and leave the room. I am guessing they don't want any part of getting nuked. Then this REALLY BIG machine goes over head to my side. Then the nuking starts. All you hear is the noise it makes as it goes into your body. Then the machine adjusts again and you get nuked again. THEN, it goes over your head and to the other side. You get nuked twice on that side. You can't feel or see the radiation. But, believe me, after a couple of weeks, your skin feels it. It is like a really bad sunburn. But they give you some lotion to use and it does help. This goes on every day, Monday through Friday.
THEN, after a few weeks, I had a ct scan, and a new form was made. This one requires that I become a contortionist. I have to lie on my side with my left arm stretched out over my head. They then lower the machine until it almost touching you. They are nuking the area where the cancer was located. I do this for 6 more times. Then I am finished - with cancer and all that it entails. To be honest, the radiation is a cake walk compared to chemo. You are just tired - but nothing like chemo tired. I am mostly tired of having to get up and drive into Myrtle Beach every day - it takes anywhere from 20-30 minutes one way. I will not miss that drive.
The people at the nuking place are really nice and all the techs are so sweet. I don't know if I will write much more after this, but if anyone out there needs someone to talk to about this, please don't hesitate to call on me. I will do anything I can to help you. God bless each and every one of you who have been with me through all this. Thank you for your encouragement, kind words and most of all, your love.
Monday, June 14, 2010
The End of Plan Nine from Murrells Inlet
Slack, slack, slack. That is what I am. I have not written in months. I just feel so good and have so much to do. My last three rounds of chemo were mostly uneventful. I still had the tiredness two days after but I am finally finished with it. HOORAY!!!!! I thought this day would never come. When you are going through chemo, it seems like you will never be "normal" again. I was beginning to doubt my energy would ever return. To anyone reading this that is going through chemo, there is an end to it and you will recover. My hair is growing with a vengence. Unfortunately, so are the hairs on my chin, legs, etc. But that is ok. At least I have hair now. And eyebrows and even eyelashes!!!! It was a long, uphill battle, but I believe I have won. God was with me every step of the way and I could not have endured this without knowing that. Cancer has given me a new outlook on life, and, unfortunately, even less patience with all the pettiness that people give so much importance to in their lives. At the end of the day, you are alive, healthly and surrounded by people who love you. All the rest is so unimportant. I had no patience to begin with, and now I have even less. But only with people who are so self involved and only care about themselves - I could just scream. So, know that cancer is just a bump in the road of your life and with God on your side you will beat it. All that is left is radiation, or as I like to call it, getting nuked.
Remember, eat well, even if it is a protein shake. Protein helps your body to heal. Don't be afraid to ask for help from your friends and family. They want to do something to help you. And most important, RULE #1 - DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. RULE #2, IT'S ALL SMALL STUFF.
Remember, eat well, even if it is a protein shake. Protein helps your body to heal. Don't be afraid to ask for help from your friends and family. They want to do something to help you. And most important, RULE #1 - DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. RULE #2, IT'S ALL SMALL STUFF.
Monday, March 1, 2010
ROUND 6 OF PLAN NINE FROM MURRELLS INLET
Okay, I know I have been slack on keeping ya'll up to date. The truth is, I FEEL GREAT!!!!!!!
I had to have another MUGA scan (say muga 3 times really fast). This time, it turned out great. I did not have chemo for about 6 weeks due to the burns on my hands and feet. So, my heart is back to normal. AND, another plus to the burns, I am now on a new chemo - one that is not as strong. Okay, I will admit everything. My doctor said my body could not stand the really strong (we are going to try and kill you with this) chemo. So, she put me on this chemo that she usually uses for her elderly patients. I know what you are thinking so stop it. I am not elderly - she meant 80-90 year olds - so there!!
Today I have my second round of this new chemo. I felt so good the last time that I tried to do everything I could not do - clean house, put up new blinds, etc. Boy was I in for a surprise. I might feel great, but my body is still being assaulted by the poison and it let me know. I have to lay down a lot. I mean, a lot. I am still not used to not being able to do all the things I used to do. I feel so good that I forget that I don't have the energy or stamina I had before.
I went to work tonight and had to leave early. The chemo brain set in and so did the tiredness. I am truly blessed to be working for one of my best friends, Trina. She has been so great to me through all this. And everyone at the Chive Blossom has been so understanding and helpful. They even let me play the cancer card. Of course, they call me on it everytime.
Oh - I almost forgot. My hair is coming back. It is the brillo pad chemo hair, but it is hair. Unfortunately, the chin hairs are coming back too. That is just not fair. And thanks to my cancer killer for recommending tea tree oil, my nails are growing and not coming off.
So, it you find yourself with cancer, use that on your nails day and night. You can get it at Sallys. Also, before you start your chemo treatments, go to the store and buy protein powder, fruits and veggies. That way you can make protein shakes with the fruit and veggies for when you don't feel like cooking (which was most of the time when they were trying to kill me). I bought some great frozen fruit (without syrup, etc) at Sam's. I tell you this because I did not do that then. Most days when I felt bad I just had ramen noodles with an egg because I really did not care to cook and really didn't want to eat. And a lot of bad bad drive in food. So, don't do that.
I have to share this with you - my friend, Cindy Sellers Jenerette, donated one of her kidneys to her ex-husband. Both are doing great. Jerry is doing better than Cindy and the Docs at MUSC are elated because the kidney is working great. They are following their progress on the MUSC web site. She is on Utube. I told her when Oprah calls I am going too!!!!! She is an angel and has been there for me through all this. So, keep them in your prayers.
I love you all. God has been so good to me.
I had to have another MUGA scan (say muga 3 times really fast). This time, it turned out great. I did not have chemo for about 6 weeks due to the burns on my hands and feet. So, my heart is back to normal. AND, another plus to the burns, I am now on a new chemo - one that is not as strong. Okay, I will admit everything. My doctor said my body could not stand the really strong (we are going to try and kill you with this) chemo. So, she put me on this chemo that she usually uses for her elderly patients. I know what you are thinking so stop it. I am not elderly - she meant 80-90 year olds - so there!!
Today I have my second round of this new chemo. I felt so good the last time that I tried to do everything I could not do - clean house, put up new blinds, etc. Boy was I in for a surprise. I might feel great, but my body is still being assaulted by the poison and it let me know. I have to lay down a lot. I mean, a lot. I am still not used to not being able to do all the things I used to do. I feel so good that I forget that I don't have the energy or stamina I had before.
I went to work tonight and had to leave early. The chemo brain set in and so did the tiredness. I am truly blessed to be working for one of my best friends, Trina. She has been so great to me through all this. And everyone at the Chive Blossom has been so understanding and helpful. They even let me play the cancer card. Of course, they call me on it everytime.
Oh - I almost forgot. My hair is coming back. It is the brillo pad chemo hair, but it is hair. Unfortunately, the chin hairs are coming back too. That is just not fair. And thanks to my cancer killer for recommending tea tree oil, my nails are growing and not coming off.
So, it you find yourself with cancer, use that on your nails day and night. You can get it at Sallys. Also, before you start your chemo treatments, go to the store and buy protein powder, fruits and veggies. That way you can make protein shakes with the fruit and veggies for when you don't feel like cooking (which was most of the time when they were trying to kill me). I bought some great frozen fruit (without syrup, etc) at Sam's. I tell you this because I did not do that then. Most days when I felt bad I just had ramen noodles with an egg because I really did not care to cook and really didn't want to eat. And a lot of bad bad drive in food. So, don't do that.
I have to share this with you - my friend, Cindy Sellers Jenerette, donated one of her kidneys to her ex-husband. Both are doing great. Jerry is doing better than Cindy and the Docs at MUSC are elated because the kidney is working great. They are following their progress on the MUSC web site. She is on Utube. I told her when Oprah calls I am going too!!!!! She is an angel and has been there for me through all this. So, keep them in your prayers.
I love you all. God has been so good to me.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
FRIENDS
Thank you for being my friend. This blog is dedicated to all of you who have called, visited, prayed, brought food, money, etc. for me. I could not go through this without you. And, of course, God. My faith gets me through this. But my friends make it so much easier. I have been blessed by so many good friends. And, to be honest, a really good ex-husband. He and his wife have been so wonderful. I would try and list you all here, but am afraid I would forget someone and don't want to do that.
So, all of you, and you know who you are, please know that I love you and appreciate all that you do for me. You don't have to call every day. I know that you are there if and when I need you.
Thank you and I hope that I can do the same for each and every one of you. I am here for you also. And, when this is all over, we will celebrate with a big feast at the house. You all know how I love to cook for you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. And God bless each of you.
So, all of you, and you know who you are, please know that I love you and appreciate all that you do for me. You don't have to call every day. I know that you are there if and when I need you.
Thank you and I hope that I can do the same for each and every one of you. I am here for you also. And, when this is all over, we will celebrate with a big feast at the house. You all know how I love to cook for you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. And God bless each of you.
BURN BABY BURN
Okay, so I was a big cry baby in my last post. But, guess what? The pain in my feet was caused by burns. My hands and feet had 3rd degree burns. It seems that my body cannot tolerate the taxotere chemo. My friend, Trina, bought some cream for me to put on my hands and feet. It really helped. In a few days, I woke up to blisters on my hands and fingers. The cream that Trina gave me helped because the blisters were all dried when they appeared. For the next couple of weeks my hands looked like I had leprosy. Imagine putting your hands in a pot of scalding water. That is what it felt like. At least when they started peeling the pain was gone. When I went for my next round of chemo the cancer killer decided to wait another week to give my hands a chance to heal. But guess what? By the time I went for the follow-up and chemo my feet had started to peel. So, once again chemo was postponed. I have to call on Monday and let them know how my feet are doing and then have chemo scheduled for the next week. I am bummed about all this because it only stretches out the treatment. But, on the bright side, I feel great and will have another 2 weeks of feeling great.
My cancer killer and I discussed doing another chemo. This is one she uses on her "elderly" patients. She said it was not the best for the type of cancer I have. But, my body evidently does not like the taxotere and she said I would experience the burns every time I have it. So, I have decided to not do the taxotere and go with the old people chemo. I don't care if I have to have additional treatments. I am not going through this every time I have chemo. I have to work and cannot do it if I look like a leper.
On a brighter note, my sister, Camille, came to visit me last weekend. I felt pretty good except for the leprosy thing. She even went with me to the doctor.
Then, because I did not have chemo and felt good, Darya and the girls came to see me this past weekend. Talk about great therapy. Little Salym is walking now and so cute. Her sisters, Sydney and Savannah, spoil her. But you just can't help yourself she is so cute. Sydney, who is 11, and two of her friends are writing a book. I will keep you posted on it. Savannah is still the cutest cheerleader you ever saw. We had a great visit. We even had a dinner party Sunday night for some friends. Some of Darya's friends from school. They still come to the house and hang out. I love it!!!!!!
Darya went to the doctor with me on Monday. She asked a bunch of questions and we both decided that it was in my best interest to not to the taxotere chemo.
So, for now, I feel great and will for the next couple of weeks. Which is a good thing because I am going back to work at the Chive Blossom next week. I don't know about you, but that darn money tree I planted has yet to bear fruit. And all those creditors just don't seem to care that you have no money. So, it is back to work for me. That is another reason I am not doing the burning chemo. Who wants a leper waiting on them? I mean, I have lots of white gloves, but that would be a little strange - however, I just might have to resort to the "white glove treatment" if I have to do the burn chemo.
Cancer really does suck.
My cancer killer and I discussed doing another chemo. This is one she uses on her "elderly" patients. She said it was not the best for the type of cancer I have. But, my body evidently does not like the taxotere and she said I would experience the burns every time I have it. So, I have decided to not do the taxotere and go with the old people chemo. I don't care if I have to have additional treatments. I am not going through this every time I have chemo. I have to work and cannot do it if I look like a leper.
On a brighter note, my sister, Camille, came to visit me last weekend. I felt pretty good except for the leprosy thing. She even went with me to the doctor.
Then, because I did not have chemo and felt good, Darya and the girls came to see me this past weekend. Talk about great therapy. Little Salym is walking now and so cute. Her sisters, Sydney and Savannah, spoil her. But you just can't help yourself she is so cute. Sydney, who is 11, and two of her friends are writing a book. I will keep you posted on it. Savannah is still the cutest cheerleader you ever saw. We had a great visit. We even had a dinner party Sunday night for some friends. Some of Darya's friends from school. They still come to the house and hang out. I love it!!!!!!
Darya went to the doctor with me on Monday. She asked a bunch of questions and we both decided that it was in my best interest to not to the taxotere chemo.
So, for now, I feel great and will for the next couple of weeks. Which is a good thing because I am going back to work at the Chive Blossom next week. I don't know about you, but that darn money tree I planted has yet to bear fruit. And all those creditors just don't seem to care that you have no money. So, it is back to work for me. That is another reason I am not doing the burning chemo. Who wants a leper waiting on them? I mean, I have lots of white gloves, but that would be a little strange - however, I just might have to resort to the "white glove treatment" if I have to do the burn chemo.
Cancer really does suck.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Round 4/Plan Nine
The results of my MUGA scan showed some difference in my heart. My Cancer Killer and I discussed it and decided to not have the last round of the red chemo. It could lead to congestive heart failure and I already have enough heart problems in my family without adding this to it. So this time it was taxotere and the c one. I can't remember their names. Don't want to.
I worked again on Monday and Tuesday night. I had a closing on Wednesday and was having lunch with Susan and Kathryn to celebrate Kathryn's 21st birthday (ha ha). By the time the closing was over I was fading fast. I went home and went right to bed. That night I was kept awake by this terrible pain in all my joints and bones. I kept taking extra strength tylenol but nothing worked. By the next morning I could not walk. My feet hurt so badly all I could do was cry. I am not a wussy but this really hurt. I finally remembered I had some pain pills left over from my surgery. I started taking them every 4 hours. I have to tell you that this pain was really really bad. I was still in pain when I went for my lab work on Monday. My Dr. said the pain was caused by the neulasta shot. We are going to try not doing it next time and see how my blood counts are. I am being totally honest with you - I can't take much more of this. The bone pain is gone but now I have something wrong with my feet - they burn and it hurts to walk. I have cried and prayed more in the past few days than since I was diagnosed. I just want it to all stop and I want my life back. I am tired of being tired and hurting. And, unless you have gone through this, you really don't know how I feel. No one can prepare you for all this. If they did, you would not go through it. I want to quit right now. I don't want to do any more chemo. I know that I will, but I don't want to. My fingernails hurt. I am sure they will be falling out soon. Cancer Rocks.
I worked again on Monday and Tuesday night. I had a closing on Wednesday and was having lunch with Susan and Kathryn to celebrate Kathryn's 21st birthday (ha ha). By the time the closing was over I was fading fast. I went home and went right to bed. That night I was kept awake by this terrible pain in all my joints and bones. I kept taking extra strength tylenol but nothing worked. By the next morning I could not walk. My feet hurt so badly all I could do was cry. I am not a wussy but this really hurt. I finally remembered I had some pain pills left over from my surgery. I started taking them every 4 hours. I have to tell you that this pain was really really bad. I was still in pain when I went for my lab work on Monday. My Dr. said the pain was caused by the neulasta shot. We are going to try not doing it next time and see how my blood counts are. I am being totally honest with you - I can't take much more of this. The bone pain is gone but now I have something wrong with my feet - they burn and it hurts to walk. I have cried and prayed more in the past few days than since I was diagnosed. I just want it to all stop and I want my life back. I am tired of being tired and hurting. And, unless you have gone through this, you really don't know how I feel. No one can prepare you for all this. If they did, you would not go through it. I want to quit right now. I don't want to do any more chemo. I know that I will, but I don't want to. My fingernails hurt. I am sure they will be falling out soon. Cancer Rocks.
CHRISTMAS
The week of Christmas was my good week. I drove to Charlotte on Wednesday, followed by Richard. He always spends the 23rd with the family. We had such a wonderful time. Richard and Darya made this incredible shrimp casserole and we played games with the girls and enjoyed watching little Salym taking steps. Richard had to leave the next day to spend time with his family. Darya was hosting the DelCorro clan for Christmas this year so they started arriving on Christmas eve. Kelly, Junior and his friend Mary came. We made chicken marsala and had another great evening playing games, etc. Christmas day was wonderful. Sydney and Savannah were so excited by their gifts. Even Salym knew which ones were for her from Santa. She went right to them. Darry and Chris arrived that afternoon. They all stayed at Darya's while we went to John's mom's for Christmas with his family. It was great. By this time I was really tired. Darya drove me home and I took a nap. I know this family and I was not going to miss out on all the fun by having to go to bed. So I got up around 9 and we laughed, ate, played games and had a large time.
I had to leave on Saturday. I did get to see Susie and Ken and Christin and Michael before I left. I was so tired driving home I just wanted to get to Garden City. By the time I unpacked the car, unpacked all my stuff, it was 6:30. I decided to lay down for a little while. I woke up at 9 the next morning.
Chemo robs all your energy - it takes so long to do the simplest things. I don't think I will ever take for granted doing things like I used to.
I had to leave on Saturday. I did get to see Susie and Ken and Christin and Michael before I left. I was so tired driving home I just wanted to get to Garden City. By the time I unpacked the car, unpacked all my stuff, it was 6:30. I decided to lay down for a little while. I woke up at 9 the next morning.
Chemo robs all your energy - it takes so long to do the simplest things. I don't think I will ever take for granted doing things like I used to.
ROUND 3/PLAN NINE
Again, this chemo went pretty much like the other two. I told my Dr. that I was experiencing shortness of breath. She decided to do another MUGA scan just to make sure everything was okay with my heart. We scheduled it for Thursday. I went to work that night and Tuesday night. All was fine. Then Wednesday arrived without a warning. Could not get out of bed. Who is this evil person that comes in the night and steals all my energy? I made it through the day by staying in bed. But Thursday came and I had to go to the hospital for my scan. I started getting ready early. I showered then had to lay down. This went on for about an hour. I was in tears by the time I finally got ready. I called my friend Sue and told her she might have to come drive me home. But, I made it. The people at the nuclear medicine department at Conway Hospital are so wonderful. I was able to rest in a waiting room after the injection of some radioactive stuff. Then of course was able to rest during the scan. I was even able to drive myself home and stumble to the bed where I remained until time to go to work on Friday. By the weekend I was feeling pretty good. I even baked some stuff for Christmas.
If you find out who or what is stealing all my energy, will you let me know?
If you find out who or what is stealing all my energy, will you let me know?
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Round 2/Plan Nine from Murrells Inlet
Well, I had my second round of chemo. It went pretty much like the first. I felt good for a couple of days and then poof- someone came and stole all my energy. And I had that "great" taste in my mouth, could not get my throat cleared and had a queasy stomach. Yes, I would like some cheese with my whine. I know that they have made so many improvements in the drugs they give us that compared to even 5 years ago I have nothing to complain about. But, of course, I am. Hey, I have cancer - I can do that. Really, to only feel bad for a few days is nothing to complain about. I just hope that all my treatments are this easy. My cancer killers say it could be this way - others tell me it could get worse. At least I am still able to work on the days I feel good and they outnumber the bad ones. This time was especially good because one of my "daughters", Becky, came to visit. Walter cooked a fabulous meal - it was before the taste thing happened so I was able to enjoy it. It was so good to see her. She has become an amazing woman. Darya and the girls came in a day early for Thanksgiving so she could spend some time with Becky. That Monday Teresa and Kim came over. I stayed up as late as I could. When I went to bed all I could hear from the back porch was laughter. I am so grateful they have all remained friends over the years. I had a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. I am alive and plan to be for a long time. I plan to dance at all of my granddaughters' weddings. That should be a feat with Salym - I will be REALLY OLD by then. But, that is my plan. I just hope it is God's also. So, in parting, be thankful for every day you have and always tell your family and friends that you love them. Remember, rule number 1 is don't sweat the small stuff, and rule number 2 is, it is all small stuff.
Only 6 more to go!!!!!!
Only 6 more to go!!!!!!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
BALD IS BEAUTIFUL
My hair, or lack thereof, was driving me crazy. I could not take it any more. Even though Joey gave me a buzz cut, my hair really started falling out. It was everywhere. I had to wear a scarf to keep it from getting in everything. I don't know who was shedding more, me or my cats.
So, I called Richard and asked him if he would shave my head. He agreed and we did it last night. It was quite a production. First, he used his shaver to remove as much as he could. There were a lot of bald spots all over so this did not take that long. Then, he lathered me up and shaved it a little at a time. Boy is my head white!!! It feels strange to rub your hands over your head and feel nothing. For those who don't know me, I have very curly hair and it was long until I cut it short this summer. So having no hair is a strange thing. And it is cold!!! How do you guys stand it? I had to wear one of those old lady turban things to sleep in last night and it was in the 50's. I will freeze when it gets cold. So, if you see me and I have one of those old lady turbans on, just know it is not a fashion statement - I am cold!!
So, I called Richard and asked him if he would shave my head. He agreed and we did it last night. It was quite a production. First, he used his shaver to remove as much as he could. There were a lot of bald spots all over so this did not take that long. Then, he lathered me up and shaved it a little at a time. Boy is my head white!!! It feels strange to rub your hands over your head and feel nothing. For those who don't know me, I have very curly hair and it was long until I cut it short this summer. So having no hair is a strange thing. And it is cold!!! How do you guys stand it? I had to wear one of those old lady turban things to sleep in last night and it was in the 50's. I will freeze when it gets cold. So, if you see me and I have one of those old lady turbans on, just know it is not a fashion statement - I am cold!!
2 DOWN AND 6 TO GO
Monday morning I had my second round of chemo. Again, it was not bad. The vampires took my blood, and I was hooked up to the IVs and all that. The only thing that stands out is the taste that you get immediately when the red chemo is injected.
The nurses at my cancer killers are the best. They are so compassionate and caring. Dr. Bogdon is great. She is so encouraging and understanding. To be honest, I feel great. The biggest side effect I have is being tired and somewhat queasy for a few days. But my friend Lisa says I was tired before so what else is new? I do miss working out. I just don't have the energy right now. I do try and get in a quick Tony Horton when I can. It does help. I don't want to finish all this and have to start over getting in shape (like I ever was to begin with).
So, thank you all for you continued support and know that I am going to beat this thing and I am doing great. Failure is not an option.
So, this leaves just 6 more treatments!!!! I will be finished with the first round in December. Then I start a new chemo for 4 treatments. That one is not as bad as the first so it should be a cakewalk.
The nurses at my cancer killers are the best. They are so compassionate and caring. Dr. Bogdon is great. She is so encouraging and understanding. To be honest, I feel great. The biggest side effect I have is being tired and somewhat queasy for a few days. But my friend Lisa says I was tired before so what else is new? I do miss working out. I just don't have the energy right now. I do try and get in a quick Tony Horton when I can. It does help. I don't want to finish all this and have to start over getting in shape (like I ever was to begin with).
So, thank you all for you continued support and know that I am going to beat this thing and I am doing great. Failure is not an option.
So, this leaves just 6 more treatments!!!! I will be finished with the first round in December. Then I start a new chemo for 4 treatments. That one is not as bad as the first so it should be a cakewalk.
Great Friday the 13th
After all the back and forth about my shot, I finally did get authorization for it. Thanks in large part to Jonelle, my angel case worker at Medicad.
The day took a much brighter turn. My office, Keller Williams Realty Myrtle Beach, held a fundraiser for me today. I was overwhelmed. Agents that I did not even know were there, contributing time, food, money. Even my friends at Bellamy Law firm helped out. Thanks to Teresa and Jill. They ordered 20 lunches and gave even more. I cannot tell you how much this meant to me. I am having a hard time making ends meet as I have to miss work because of the chemo, etc. I had no idea the turnout would be so great. My broker, Joanne, and her assistant, Dianne, are the greatest. I just want to thank each and every one of you that helped. I hope that one day I can do something to repay all their kindness and generousity. I wanted to do a thank you speech, but could not because I was so emotional and knew I would just stand there and cry. So again, to everyone, thank you from the bottom of my heart and my God bless you all.
The day took a much brighter turn. My office, Keller Williams Realty Myrtle Beach, held a fundraiser for me today. I was overwhelmed. Agents that I did not even know were there, contributing time, food, money. Even my friends at Bellamy Law firm helped out. Thanks to Teresa and Jill. They ordered 20 lunches and gave even more. I cannot tell you how much this meant to me. I am having a hard time making ends meet as I have to miss work because of the chemo, etc. I had no idea the turnout would be so great. My broker, Joanne, and her assistant, Dianne, are the greatest. I just want to thank each and every one of you that helped. I hope that one day I can do something to repay all their kindness and generousity. I wanted to do a thank you speech, but could not because I was so emotional and knew I would just stand there and cry. So again, to everyone, thank you from the bottom of my heart and my God bless you all.
Friday, November 13, 2009
No Shot For You
I have been having the best two weeks I have had since cancer. I feel great. In fact, I don't even feel like I have cancer. All this is because after chemo I get a shot of Neulasta. This stimulates the bone marrow to produce white blood cells. As a result of this shot, all my blood levels are normal - hence my feeling great. Imagine my dismay and anger when I received a letter from my medicad provider that they were denying my shot for my next chemo. The reason? My blood levels are normal. OF COURSE THEY ARE YOU IDIOTS THE SHOT WORKS.
Let me digress. When I enrolled in Medicad I was told I had to choose a managed plan. I checked with my cancer killers and chose the one they accept. I did not know that I had the choice to remain on regular or fee for services medicad. So I am stuck with Select Health/AmeriHealth Mercy for November. I am switching back to the regular plan next month. Unfortunately this does not help with my shot this month. So, if you find yourself in my situation, under no circumstances choose Select Health/AmeriHealth Mercy. They are the worse. I love that they have mercy in their name. What mercy? And I thought cancer sucked. I have prayed about this and have faith that God will keep me healthy or provide another source to pay for my shot. The shot costs $3,000.00 and if I had $3,000.00 I would not need medicad. I sure can't count on that wonderful (note the sarcasm) Select Health to provide for me.
So, in conclusion, if you find yourself with cancer and on medicad, stay on the fee for services plan.
Let me digress. When I enrolled in Medicad I was told I had to choose a managed plan. I checked with my cancer killers and chose the one they accept. I did not know that I had the choice to remain on regular or fee for services medicad. So I am stuck with Select Health/AmeriHealth Mercy for November. I am switching back to the regular plan next month. Unfortunately this does not help with my shot this month. So, if you find yourself in my situation, under no circumstances choose Select Health/AmeriHealth Mercy. They are the worse. I love that they have mercy in their name. What mercy? And I thought cancer sucked. I have prayed about this and have faith that God will keep me healthy or provide another source to pay for my shot. The shot costs $3,000.00 and if I had $3,000.00 I would not need medicad. I sure can't count on that wonderful (note the sarcasm) Select Health to provide for me.
So, in conclusion, if you find yourself with cancer and on medicad, stay on the fee for services plan.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Hair Today Gone Tomorrow
Okay. One of the worse side effects of chemo is the loss of your hair. Mine started coming out about 2 weeks after the chemo. It did not come out all at once. But it was coming out in clumps. I was afraid to drive with the windows down for fear I would be bald by the time I got where I was going. After a couple days of this I was over it. I called my hairdresser (and long time friend) Joey. He told me he was available 24/7 to handle my hair loss. I picked up a wig at the cancer killers and he said he would style it for me. So he arrived with scissors, etc. At first, we thought maybe he could just cut it really short. But, after much deliberation, I decided I was tired of fighting it. My good friend, Sue, came over to lend her moral support. She is a 15 year breast cancer survivor. SO, Joey got out his trusty clippers and proceeded to buzz my head. I have about 1/8 in of hair still. I was glad they were both here as we laughed and had fun and it was really not as traumatic as I thought it would be. What was scary was how gray my hair is. I have been coloring it so long that I was unaware it was so gray!! I have had some friends tell me "embrace your gray hair" I THINK NOT. As long as there is Joey or a Sally's somewhere I will never have gray hair. I look so old - well at least as old as I am and I don't like that.
Joey had me put the wig on and he cut and shaped it for about an hour. It still looked like I had a cocker spaniel on my head.
He came back the next night and tried again. Richard came over too and we had dinner. Richard found a wig and wore it most of the evening. It looked like a mullet - everytime I looked at him I had to laugh. After much laughing and talking we decided there was no way the wig was going to look like anything but a wig (or a cocker spaniel) so we went online and Joey helped me pick out a wig - which my BFF Lisa is buying for me. I tell you, God has blessed me with so many angels. I will go to work tonight with my "new do". Hope I don't scare everyone - after all, halloween is over!!!
BUT, the bright side of hair loss is that it happens all over your body - I don't have to shave my legs for about 6 months. CANCER ROCKS!!!!!
Joey had me put the wig on and he cut and shaped it for about an hour. It still looked like I had a cocker spaniel on my head.
He came back the next night and tried again. Richard came over too and we had dinner. Richard found a wig and wore it most of the evening. It looked like a mullet - everytime I looked at him I had to laugh. After much laughing and talking we decided there was no way the wig was going to look like anything but a wig (or a cocker spaniel) so we went online and Joey helped me pick out a wig - which my BFF Lisa is buying for me. I tell you, God has blessed me with so many angels. I will go to work tonight with my "new do". Hope I don't scare everyone - after all, halloween is over!!!
BUT, the bright side of hair loss is that it happens all over your body - I don't have to shave my legs for about 6 months. CANCER ROCKS!!!!!
Let's Kill Some Cancer
I had my first chemo treatment on Monday, Oct 26. I was planning to go by myself - after all, I can do this. But Richard had other plans. He called me at 8:00 to tell me he would be picking me up. So off we went to the Cancer Killers to start my Plan Nine From Murrells Inlet.
First, they took some blood. They are always taking blood. It is a good thing our bodies make more as I would be out of it by now. Then, I was seated in this nice recliner type chair. The nurse explained everything to me step by step. The port is the place where everything goes. First, she checked it to make sure we had the vein. Then, I was given anti-nausea stuff through the IV. After that was done, she injected the red chemo into my iv. This took about 3-5 minutes. Then, I had another chemo in a drip bag that was also in the IV. All this took about an hour and a half.
Believe it or not, it did not hurt. In fact, I felt great afterwards. Richard and I went to lunch.
I was tired but think it was because I really did not sleep the night before. Nerves or something.
The next day I felt like I could do anything. I cleaned my closet, cooked chicken bog and had some friends over for dinner.
The next day I had to have my shot for production of white cells. I was really tired after that.
To be honest, the only bad effects I had from the chemo was tiredness and I was a little queasy for a couple of days. So on the days I had to work, I just stayed in bed until time to go to work.
Hey, if that is as bad as it gets, BRING IT ON. I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!
I had to go back on the following Monday for more blood work. Then again on Friday. I seriously think they are a vampire coven or something. I tell you, I should be out of blood - thank goodness God designed our bodies to make more. I also found out why I felt so great - steriods. But I am not getting any muscles out of it or hitting any home runs or anything. Just feeling good.
First, they took some blood. They are always taking blood. It is a good thing our bodies make more as I would be out of it by now. Then, I was seated in this nice recliner type chair. The nurse explained everything to me step by step. The port is the place where everything goes. First, she checked it to make sure we had the vein. Then, I was given anti-nausea stuff through the IV. After that was done, she injected the red chemo into my iv. This took about 3-5 minutes. Then, I had another chemo in a drip bag that was also in the IV. All this took about an hour and a half.
Believe it or not, it did not hurt. In fact, I felt great afterwards. Richard and I went to lunch.
I was tired but think it was because I really did not sleep the night before. Nerves or something.
The next day I felt like I could do anything. I cleaned my closet, cooked chicken bog and had some friends over for dinner.
The next day I had to have my shot for production of white cells. I was really tired after that.
To be honest, the only bad effects I had from the chemo was tiredness and I was a little queasy for a couple of days. So on the days I had to work, I just stayed in bed until time to go to work.
Hey, if that is as bad as it gets, BRING IT ON. I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!
I had to go back on the following Monday for more blood work. Then again on Friday. I seriously think they are a vampire coven or something. I tell you, I should be out of blood - thank goodness God designed our bodies to make more. I also found out why I felt so great - steriods. But I am not getting any muscles out of it or hitting any home runs or anything. Just feeling good.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Plan Nine From Murrells Inlet
Time to meet with the cancer killers to plan my attack on my very own cancer. I will call mine Plan Nine From Murrells Inlet in honor of that great B movie maker, Ed Wood. Richard and I met with this wonderful nurse. She went over all the results of my tests. They were all negative for signs of cancer. GOD is good. However, she did say that we were still attacking this cancer with everything we had - some small cells are undetectable. So, my routine for the next month or so will be - Monday, Chemo - about 3 hours. Tuesday, go back for a shot of white blood cells. Then the next Monday I have to go in for lab work (nice way of saying they are going to take blood from you). Then start all over the next week. That will go on for 4 treatments. Then I start a different chemo. That one will be once every three weeks. Then, radiation. But I don't even want to think of that until I have to - one day at a time.
This was all predicated on the results of my lymph node removal and the healing of the incision.
Richard and I went to see my favorite surgeon to have the tube removed. He told me of the 13 nodes he removed, only 2 tested positive for cancer. AGAIN, GOD IS GOOD. Also, that the incision will be healed and I can in fact start chemo on Monday, Oct 26. HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't wait. That will be one down and only 7 to go. I am so ready to get all this cancer stuff behind be and get on with my life. I have things to do, and beautiful granddaughters to do them with.
I have missed my BSF for 3 weeks now and that makes me sad. I will be back next week ladies.
Oh, just a postscript - God puts angels in your life when you least expect them. One of my daughter's friends called me. She used to "stay" (live) at our house back when they were in high school. She came by and gave me some money - she said she wanted to help me - after all, she said, you used to take care of me and let me live at your house. It makes me cry still to think of the kindness so many have shown me.
God bless you all.
This was all predicated on the results of my lymph node removal and the healing of the incision.
Richard and I went to see my favorite surgeon to have the tube removed. He told me of the 13 nodes he removed, only 2 tested positive for cancer. AGAIN, GOD IS GOOD. Also, that the incision will be healed and I can in fact start chemo on Monday, Oct 26. HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't wait. That will be one down and only 7 to go. I am so ready to get all this cancer stuff behind be and get on with my life. I have things to do, and beautiful granddaughters to do them with.
I have missed my BSF for 3 weeks now and that makes me sad. I will be back next week ladies.
Oh, just a postscript - God puts angels in your life when you least expect them. One of my daughter's friends called me. She used to "stay" (live) at our house back when they were in high school. She came by and gave me some money - she said she wanted to help me - after all, she said, you used to take care of me and let me live at your house. It makes me cry still to think of the kindness so many have shown me.
God bless you all.
Juan more surgery please
Even after all the tests, my oncologist (cancer killer dr.) wanted to have some lymph nodes removed. So, my wonderful surgeon, Dr. Epstein, did his magic again. He also installed my "port" for my chemo. What he did not tell me was that I would have a tube left that had to be drained morning and night. My wonderful friend, Richard, took me for my surgery and stayed with me day and night for several days. I had a fever of 101 the first night so we both were a little anxious. Especially since my normal temp is 97.7 Since I was taking mucho pain meds we weren't sure (I was so loopy I was not sure of my name by this time) whether I could take anything for the fever. Richard finally got the dr. on call and he assured him I could take motrin for the fever but to check me every couple of hours. So, Richard was off to Walgreens (which is right at my house) for motrin. Then he faithfully came in and woke me up every 4 hours to take my temperature. HELLO - NURSE CRATTCHIT ANYONE? Imagine if you can, being sound asleep or drugged or whatever, and waking up to someone looming over you with a thermometer aimed at your mouth - and he did this all night. I say that in jest - I really can never repay Richard for all his kindness and attention. Maybe he should be a nurse.
I will tell you that it was more painful than the lumpectomy. I sleep on my left side and that is where all the surgery took place. So, many sleepless nights in Garden City.
I will tell you that it was more painful than the lumpectomy. I sleep on my left side and that is where all the surgery took place. So, many sleepless nights in Garden City.
Pet Scan anyone?
Well, I have finally had my last (i hope) test before starting the real chore of trying to kill cancer. I knew from past experience I would have to be still for an inordinate amount of time and that is just not possible for me. So, this time I was prepared. I took one of those magnificant pills, xanax. Relax, I did not drive myself. My wonderful friend and confidant, Richard, agreed to drive me - and I had to be there at 8:00 am. This time I was taken into a room and once again given some radioactive stuff in an injection. They had me in a lazy boy recliner (at least their version of it) with a tv. I had to wait an hour - but to be honest, I dozed off because it seemed like no time had passed when they came to get me. The PET scan machine looked like a giant doughnut - and you are put right in the doughnut hole!! They strapped my arms in, thank goodnesss. I mean, can you imagine having to hold your hands on your stomach for 20-25 minutes without moving? Impossible for me. Then I closed my eyes and did not open them again until they removed me from the doughnut hole. Trust me on this, if you find yourself having to have a pet scan, mri or any of those wonderful other tests that involve putting you on a small stretcher and pushing you into a hole, DO NOT OPEN YOUR EYES UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!! ASK THEM FOR SOMETHING TO PLACE OVER YOUR EYES SO THAT IF YOU ARE TEMPTED TO OPEN THEM YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SEE ANYTHING. You will thank me for this advice later.
This test, like all the others, was painless, except for the being still part, and is a wonderful tool for your doctor in determining the treatment to use on your cancer.
This test, like all the others, was painless, except for the being still part, and is a wonderful tool for your doctor in determining the treatment to use on your cancer.
Monday, October 5, 2009
At last a normal weekend
This weekend I actually forgot I had cancer. I hosted a baby shower for my beautiful friend, Stacy. She is having a baby boy next month so all the girls from the Chive Blossom got together to celebrate with her. My bff Lisa arranged for another friend, Michelle, to clean my house for me. She knows how I am when I have company and figured I would be cooking and would not have time to clean. especially since I had not been home all week. She was so right. It was such a beautiful weekend. I watered all the plants on the porch (ya'll know I have a jungle out there) and cooked all day. Then off to work.
Sunday the weather was perfect. Everyone sat on the porch. We forced everyone to play stupid baby games - especially Karen. We had such a good time eating and laughing. Tash's daughter, Madison, ended up winning most of the games - and she is 11.; What does that tell you?
Then my sister, Camille, and her husband Ed came to visit. She just went through the breast cancer thing in January. She claims I am just jealous that she got it first. She said I did everything else first, getting hit by a car, appendicitis, broken collar bone, etc. I told her cancer trumps all those so she wins. I thank God that she did not have to deal with the chemo, etc.
She is such a good sister. I am truly blessed to have her and all my friends.
Sunday the weather was perfect. Everyone sat on the porch. We forced everyone to play stupid baby games - especially Karen. We had such a good time eating and laughing. Tash's daughter, Madison, ended up winning most of the games - and she is 11.; What does that tell you?
Then my sister, Camille, and her husband Ed came to visit. She just went through the breast cancer thing in January. She claims I am just jealous that she got it first. She said I did everything else first, getting hit by a car, appendicitis, broken collar bone, etc. I told her cancer trumps all those so she wins. I thank God that she did not have to deal with the chemo, etc.
She is such a good sister. I am truly blessed to have her and all my friends.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Bones Bones Bones
Today was the bone scan. They really don't take your word for anything. I mean, if I didn't have bones what would hold my skin up?
Guess what? They do this in NUCLEAR MEDICINE. Once again I was injected with something radioactive. This time I had to wait 2 hours for the stuff to travel through my body or bones -not sure which. I was instructed to drink a lot of water and return at 2:30. All I could think of was, am I radioactive - I mean, was it safe for me to be around other people? I guess so if they let me leave. So I went to lunch and tried to drink all the iced tea they had at Zaxbys. When I returned to NUCLEAR MEDICINE once again I had to lie still. This time they wrapped something around my feet. I immediately became claustrophobic. I was not sure if I could make it through this one. I had to lie, immobile, for 30 minutes - with my feet all wrapped up. I was screaming in my head. To be honest, I almost did not make it. I came this close to yelling for them to stop. I don't know why this one bothered me so much. Maybe it was just I decided enough is enough. I can't take this any more. But, of course, I have to. I have no choice. Cancer is in charge of my life right now and I resent the hell out of it. I want to be in charge of my life. I just pray for the strength to get through this because I have to have the muga muga muga test on a regular basis once I start chemo. At least I won't have to shave my legs for a while. When your hair falls out, it falls out all over your body. See, there is a bright side. Think of the money I will save not having to buy Alterna products for my hair, and shaving cream, etc.
CANCER ROCKS!
Guess what? They do this in NUCLEAR MEDICINE. Once again I was injected with something radioactive. This time I had to wait 2 hours for the stuff to travel through my body or bones -not sure which. I was instructed to drink a lot of water and return at 2:30. All I could think of was, am I radioactive - I mean, was it safe for me to be around other people? I guess so if they let me leave. So I went to lunch and tried to drink all the iced tea they had at Zaxbys. When I returned to NUCLEAR MEDICINE once again I had to lie still. This time they wrapped something around my feet. I immediately became claustrophobic. I was not sure if I could make it through this one. I had to lie, immobile, for 30 minutes - with my feet all wrapped up. I was screaming in my head. To be honest, I almost did not make it. I came this close to yelling for them to stop. I don't know why this one bothered me so much. Maybe it was just I decided enough is enough. I can't take this any more. But, of course, I have to. I have no choice. Cancer is in charge of my life right now and I resent the hell out of it. I want to be in charge of my life. I just pray for the strength to get through this because I have to have the muga muga muga test on a regular basis once I start chemo. At least I won't have to shave my legs for a while. When your hair falls out, it falls out all over your body. See, there is a bright side. Think of the money I will save not having to buy Alterna products for my hair, and shaving cream, etc.
CANCER ROCKS!
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