Round 2/Plan Nine from Murrells Inlet

Well, I had my second round of chemo. It went pretty much like the first. I felt good for a couple of days and then poof- someone came and stole all my energy. And I had that "great" taste in my mouth, could not get my throat cleared and had a queasy stomach. Yes, I would like some cheese with my whine. I know that they have made so many improvements in the drugs they give us that compared to even 5 years ago I have nothing to complain about. But, of course, I am. Hey, I have cancer - I can do that. Really, to only feel bad for a few days is nothing to complain about. I just hope that all my treatments are this easy. My cancer killers say it could be this way - others tell me it could get worse. At least I am still able to work on the days I feel good and they outnumber the bad ones. This time was especially good because one of my "daughters", Becky, came to visit. Walter cooked a fabulous meal - it was before the taste thing happened so I was able to enjoy it. It was so good to see her. She has become an amazing woman. Darya and the girls came in a day early for Thanksgiving so she could spend some time with Becky. That Monday Teresa and Kim came over. I stayed up as late as I could. When I went to bed all I could hear from the back porch was laughter. I am so grateful they have all remained friends over the years. I had a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. I am alive and plan to be for a long time. I plan to dance at all of my granddaughters' weddings. That should be a feat with Salym - I will be REALLY OLD by then. But, that is my plan. I just hope it is God's also. So, in parting, be thankful for every day you have and always tell your family and friends that you love them. Remember, rule number 1 is don't sweat the small stuff, and rule number 2 is, it is all small stuff.
Only 6 more to go!!!!!!

BALD IS BEAUTIFUL

My hair, or lack thereof, was driving me crazy. I could not take it any more. Even though Joey gave me a buzz cut, my hair really started falling out. It was everywhere. I had to wear a scarf to keep it from getting in everything. I don't know who was shedding more, me or my cats.
So, I called Richard and asked him if he would shave my head. He agreed and we did it last night. It was quite a production. First, he used his shaver to remove as much as he could. There were a lot of bald spots all over so this did not take that long. Then, he lathered me up and shaved it a little at a time. Boy is my head white!!! It feels strange to rub your hands over your head and feel nothing. For those who don't know me, I have very curly hair and it was long until I cut it short this summer. So having no hair is a strange thing. And it is cold!!! How do you guys stand it? I had to wear one of those old lady turban things to sleep in last night and it was in the 50's. I will freeze when it gets cold. So, if you see me and I have one of those old lady turbans on, just know it is not a fashion statement - I am cold!!

2 DOWN AND 6 TO GO

Monday morning I had my second round of chemo. Again, it was not bad. The vampires took my blood, and I was hooked up to the IVs and all that. The only thing that stands out is the taste that you get immediately when the red chemo is injected.
The nurses at my cancer killers are the best. They are so compassionate and caring. Dr. Bogdon is great. She is so encouraging and understanding. To be honest, I feel great. The biggest side effect I have is being tired and somewhat queasy for a few days. But my friend Lisa says I was tired before so what else is new? I do miss working out. I just don't have the energy right now. I do try and get in a quick Tony Horton when I can. It does help. I don't want to finish all this and have to start over getting in shape (like I ever was to begin with).
So, thank you all for you continued support and know that I am going to beat this thing and I am doing great. Failure is not an option.
So, this leaves just 6 more treatments!!!! I will be finished with the first round in December. Then I start a new chemo for 4 treatments. That one is not as bad as the first so it should be a cakewalk.

Great Friday the 13th

After all the back and forth about my shot, I finally did get authorization for it. Thanks in large part to Jonelle, my angel case worker at Medicad.
The day took a much brighter turn. My office, Keller Williams Realty Myrtle Beach, held a fundraiser for me today. I was overwhelmed. Agents that I did not even know were there, contributing time, food, money. Even my friends at Bellamy Law firm helped out. Thanks to Teresa and Jill. They ordered 20 lunches and gave even more. I cannot tell you how much this meant to me. I am having a hard time making ends meet as I have to miss work because of the chemo, etc. I had no idea the turnout would be so great. My broker, Joanne, and her assistant, Dianne, are the greatest. I just want to thank each and every one of you that helped. I hope that one day I can do something to repay all their kindness and generousity. I wanted to do a thank you speech, but could not because I was so emotional and knew I would just stand there and cry. So again, to everyone, thank you from the bottom of my heart and my God bless you all.

No Shot For You

I have been having the best two weeks I have had since cancer. I feel great. In fact, I don't even feel like I have cancer. All this is because after chemo I get a shot of Neulasta. This stimulates the bone marrow to produce white blood cells. As a result of this shot, all my blood levels are normal - hence my feeling great. Imagine my dismay and anger when I received a letter from my medicad provider that they were denying my shot for my next chemo. The reason? My blood levels are normal. OF COURSE THEY ARE YOU IDIOTS THE SHOT WORKS.
Let me digress. When I enrolled in Medicad I was told I had to choose a managed plan. I checked with my cancer killers and chose the one they accept. I did not know that I had the choice to remain on regular or fee for services medicad. So I am stuck with Select Health/AmeriHealth Mercy for November. I am switching back to the regular plan next month. Unfortunately this does not help with my shot this month. So, if you find yourself in my situation, under no circumstances choose Select Health/AmeriHealth Mercy. They are the worse. I love that they have mercy in their name. What mercy? And I thought cancer sucked. I have prayed about this and have faith that God will keep me healthy or provide another source to pay for my shot. The shot costs $3,000.00 and if I had $3,000.00 I would not need medicad. I sure can't count on that wonderful (note the sarcasm) Select Health to provide for me.
So, in conclusion, if you find yourself with cancer and on medicad, stay on the fee for services plan.

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

Okay. One of the worse side effects of chemo is the loss of your hair. Mine started coming out about 2 weeks after the chemo. It did not come out all at once. But it was coming out in clumps. I was afraid to drive with the windows down for fear I would be bald by the time I got where I was going. After a couple days of this I was over it. I called my hairdresser (and long time friend) Joey. He told me he was available 24/7 to handle my hair loss. I picked up a wig at the cancer killers and he said he would style it for me. So he arrived with scissors, etc. At first, we thought maybe he could just cut it really short. But, after much deliberation, I decided I was tired of fighting it. My good friend, Sue, came over to lend her moral support. She is a 15 year breast cancer survivor. SO, Joey got out his trusty clippers and proceeded to buzz my head. I have about 1/8 in of hair still. I was glad they were both here as we laughed and had fun and it was really not as traumatic as I thought it would be. What was scary was how gray my hair is. I have been coloring it so long that I was unaware it was so gray!! I have had some friends tell me "embrace your gray hair" I THINK NOT. As long as there is Joey or a Sally's somewhere I will never have gray hair. I look so old - well at least as old as I am and I don't like that.
Joey had me put the wig on and he cut and shaped it for about an hour. It still looked like I had a cocker spaniel on my head.
He came back the next night and tried again. Richard came over too and we had dinner. Richard found a wig and wore it most of the evening. It looked like a mullet - everytime I looked at him I had to laugh. After much laughing and talking we decided there was no way the wig was going to look like anything but a wig (or a cocker spaniel) so we went online and Joey helped me pick out a wig - which my BFF Lisa is buying for me. I tell you, God has blessed me with so many angels. I will go to work tonight with my "new do". Hope I don't scare everyone - after all, halloween is over!!!
BUT, the bright side of hair loss is that it happens all over your body - I don't have to shave my legs for about 6 months. CANCER ROCKS!!!!!

Let's Kill Some Cancer

I had my first chemo treatment on Monday, Oct 26. I was planning to go by myself - after all, I can do this. But Richard had other plans. He called me at 8:00 to tell me he would be picking me up. So off we went to the Cancer Killers to start my Plan Nine From Murrells Inlet.
First, they took some blood. They are always taking blood. It is a good thing our bodies make more as I would be out of it by now. Then, I was seated in this nice recliner type chair. The nurse explained everything to me step by step. The port is the place where everything goes. First, she checked it to make sure we had the vein. Then, I was given anti-nausea stuff through the IV. After that was done, she injected the red chemo into my iv. This took about 3-5 minutes. Then, I had another chemo in a drip bag that was also in the IV. All this took about an hour and a half.
Believe it or not, it did not hurt. In fact, I felt great afterwards. Richard and I went to lunch.
I was tired but think it was because I really did not sleep the night before. Nerves or something.
The next day I felt like I could do anything. I cleaned my closet, cooked chicken bog and had some friends over for dinner.
The next day I had to have my shot for production of white cells. I was really tired after that.
To be honest, the only bad effects I had from the chemo was tiredness and I was a little queasy for a couple of days. So on the days I had to work, I just stayed in bed until time to go to work.
Hey, if that is as bad as it gets, BRING IT ON. I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!
I had to go back on the following Monday for more blood work. Then again on Friday. I seriously think they are a vampire coven or something. I tell you, I should be out of blood - thank goodness God designed our bodies to make more. I also found out why I felt so great - steriods. But I am not getting any muscles out of it or hitting any home runs or anything. Just feeling good.

Plan Nine From Murrells Inlet

Time to meet with the cancer killers to plan my attack on my very own cancer. I will call mine Plan Nine From Murrells Inlet in honor of that great B movie maker, Ed Wood. Richard and I met with this wonderful nurse. She went over all the results of my tests. They were all negative for signs of cancer. GOD is good. However, she did say that we were still attacking this cancer with everything we had - some small cells are undetectable. So, my routine for the next month or so will be - Monday, Chemo - about 3 hours. Tuesday, go back for a shot of white blood cells. Then the next Monday I have to go in for lab work (nice way of saying they are going to take blood from you). Then start all over the next week. That will go on for 4 treatments. Then I start a different chemo. That one will be once every three weeks. Then, radiation. But I don't even want to think of that until I have to - one day at a time.
This was all predicated on the results of my lymph node removal and the healing of the incision.
Richard and I went to see my favorite surgeon to have the tube removed. He told me of the 13 nodes he removed, only 2 tested positive for cancer. AGAIN, GOD IS GOOD. Also, that the incision will be healed and I can in fact start chemo on Monday, Oct 26. HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't wait. That will be one down and only 7 to go. I am so ready to get all this cancer stuff behind be and get on with my life. I have things to do, and beautiful granddaughters to do them with.
I have missed my BSF for 3 weeks now and that makes me sad. I will be back next week ladies.
Oh, just a postscript - God puts angels in your life when you least expect them. One of my daughter's friends called me. She used to "stay" (live) at our house back when they were in high school. She came by and gave me some money - she said she wanted to help me - after all, she said, you used to take care of me and let me live at your house. It makes me cry still to think of the kindness so many have shown me.
God bless you all.

Juan more surgery please

Even after all the tests, my oncologist (cancer killer dr.) wanted to have some lymph nodes removed. So, my wonderful surgeon, Dr. Epstein, did his magic again. He also installed my "port" for my chemo. What he did not tell me was that I would have a tube left that had to be drained morning and night. My wonderful friend, Richard, took me for my surgery and stayed with me day and night for several days. I had a fever of 101 the first night so we both were a little anxious. Especially since my normal temp is 97.7 Since I was taking mucho pain meds we weren't sure (I was so loopy I was not sure of my name by this time) whether I could take anything for the fever. Richard finally got the dr. on call and he assured him I could take motrin for the fever but to check me every couple of hours. So, Richard was off to Walgreens (which is right at my house) for motrin. Then he faithfully came in and woke me up every 4 hours to take my temperature. HELLO - NURSE CRATTCHIT ANYONE? Imagine if you can, being sound asleep or drugged or whatever, and waking up to someone looming over you with a thermometer aimed at your mouth - and he did this all night. I say that in jest - I really can never repay Richard for all his kindness and attention. Maybe he should be a nurse.
I will tell you that it was more painful than the lumpectomy. I sleep on my left side and that is where all the surgery took place. So, many sleepless nights in Garden City.

Pet Scan anyone?

Well, I have finally had my last (i hope) test before starting the real chore of trying to kill cancer. I knew from past experience I would have to be still for an inordinate amount of time and that is just not possible for me. So, this time I was prepared. I took one of those magnificant pills, xanax. Relax, I did not drive myself. My wonderful friend and confidant, Richard, agreed to drive me - and I had to be there at 8:00 am. This time I was taken into a room and once again given some radioactive stuff in an injection. They had me in a lazy boy recliner (at least their version of it) with a tv. I had to wait an hour - but to be honest, I dozed off because it seemed like no time had passed when they came to get me. The PET scan machine looked like a giant doughnut - and you are put right in the doughnut hole!! They strapped my arms in, thank goodnesss. I mean, can you imagine having to hold your hands on your stomach for 20-25 minutes without moving? Impossible for me. Then I closed my eyes and did not open them again until they removed me from the doughnut hole. Trust me on this, if you find yourself having to have a pet scan, mri or any of those wonderful other tests that involve putting you on a small stretcher and pushing you into a hole, DO NOT OPEN YOUR EYES UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!! ASK THEM FOR SOMETHING TO PLACE OVER YOUR EYES SO THAT IF YOU ARE TEMPTED TO OPEN THEM YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SEE ANYTHING. You will thank me for this advice later.
This test, like all the others, was painless, except for the being still part, and is a wonderful tool for your doctor in determining the treatment to use on your cancer.

At last a normal weekend

This weekend I actually forgot I had cancer. I hosted a baby shower for my beautiful friend, Stacy. She is having a baby boy next month so all the girls from the Chive Blossom got together to celebrate with her. My bff Lisa arranged for another friend, Michelle, to clean my house for me. She knows how I am when I have company and figured I would be cooking and would not have time to clean. especially since I had not been home all week. She was so right. It was such a beautiful weekend. I watered all the plants on the porch (ya'll know I have a jungle out there) and cooked all day. Then off to work.
Sunday the weather was perfect. Everyone sat on the porch. We forced everyone to play stupid baby games - especially Karen. We had such a good time eating and laughing. Tash's daughter, Madison, ended up winning most of the games - and she is 11.; What does that tell you?
Then my sister, Camille, and her husband Ed came to visit. She just went through the breast cancer thing in January. She claims I am just jealous that she got it first. She said I did everything else first, getting hit by a car, appendicitis, broken collar bone, etc. I told her cancer trumps all those so she wins. I thank God that she did not have to deal with the chemo, etc.
She is such a good sister. I am truly blessed to have her and all my friends.

Bones Bones Bones

Today was the bone scan. They really don't take your word for anything. I mean, if I didn't have bones what would hold my skin up?
Guess what? They do this in NUCLEAR MEDICINE. Once again I was injected with something radioactive. This time I had to wait 2 hours for the stuff to travel through my body or bones -not sure which. I was instructed to drink a lot of water and return at 2:30. All I could think of was, am I radioactive - I mean, was it safe for me to be around other people? I guess so if they let me leave. So I went to lunch and tried to drink all the iced tea they had at Zaxbys. When I returned to NUCLEAR MEDICINE once again I had to lie still. This time they wrapped something around my feet. I immediately became claustrophobic. I was not sure if I could make it through this one. I had to lie, immobile, for 30 minutes - with my feet all wrapped up. I was screaming in my head. To be honest, I almost did not make it. I came this close to yelling for them to stop. I don't know why this one bothered me so much. Maybe it was just I decided enough is enough. I can't take this any more. But, of course, I have to. I have no choice. Cancer is in charge of my life right now and I resent the hell out of it. I want to be in charge of my life. I just pray for the strength to get through this because I have to have the muga muga muga test on a regular basis once I start chemo. At least I won't have to shave my legs for a while. When your hair falls out, it falls out all over your body. See, there is a bright side. Think of the money I will save not having to buy Alterna products for my hair, and shaving cream, etc.
CANCER ROCKS!

If I only had a brain

Thursday was the first of my many tests and scans. I had an MRI on my brain. My friends insisted that I provide them with proof that I had one after the test. (They give me no slack) This time, I only had to have my head and part of my chest in the machine. They give you ear plugs because it is REALLY LOUD!! In fact, MRI really means we are going to try and burst your eardrums in the name of medical science. Once they put you in the machine, you can't move. Of course as soon as that happened my nose started to itch. Then I got a cramp in my foot. All the time noise is coming at you in all directions until I wanted to scream LET ME OUT. But if you do that, they have to start over. So if you have to have an MRI, just try and get through it because you don't want to have to do it twice. After it was over, I asked my friend who works there for a signed certificate to present to my friends proving that I have a brain. Her reply was "Sharon, we can't lie". Talk about insult to injury.
Then it was on to NUCLEAR MEDICINE for my muga muga muga test. They really should call it something other than Nuclear medicine. The name conjurs up images of atom bombs with IV's. This test is to check the muscles of your heart. It seems that the chemo is so strong it can damage your heart so they have to make sure you can take it. AGAIN, why can't we use this stuff on Bin Laden and his buddies?
They (really nice people) inject you with some radioactive stuff. Then you have to lie down and once again NOT MOVE while they take images of your heart. At least this one was not noisy. But ya'll know I have a hard time being still - especially for 20 minutes. I think I passed. They did not give me a certificate or anything, but they did let me leave. I have not had this many tests since real estate school.
When I got to work my friends wanted to see proof that they found a brain in the MRI. Since I didn't have any they are still insisting I don't have one. They do not give me any slack and I have cancer and everything!!

My first really bad day

Wednesday was a bad day. Really, the first one since I had my pity party when I was first told I had CANCER. I have Bible study on Wednesdays and got up early because I did not get to finish my lesson. For some reason, I began to cry - I mean really cry. And, I did not know why. I almost did not go to BSF. But, I composed myself and went. I was ok until we began to sing. Then, the tears came and would not stop. The woman beside me reached over and held me and prayed for me. I continued to cry - I still did not know why. I went to my class but could not stop crying. My leader, Mona, a wonderful woman, held me and suggested I go to the sanctuary and pray. I did, still crying - I mean racking sobs. A woman came and put her arms around me and prayed for me. When she left, another woman sat down. It was a friend of mine. I told her I had cancer. Her son was a good friend of mine who died tragically at a young age. She prayed with me and I was finally able to go back to class. I had told Mona she could tell the other members of our class that I had cancer. After our lesson, they all put their hands on me and prayed for me. I was still crying. In fact, I am crying as I write this. I believe that God knew I had to release all the emotions I have held inside. I also believe that He made it happen on my Bible study day. He knew I would get prayers and support from all those wonderful women. God is truly wonderful and really knows what we need even when we don't. I needed to cry and have not until then. I know that I will have bad days in the months ahead. But I also know that He will be right there with me and provide comfort for me.

CANCER IS JUST TOO TIME CONSUMING

Feel a lump in your breast? Go have it checked. If you don't have any money, there are programs out there to pay for it. TRUST ME ON THIS.
After all the mammograms, biopsies, etc. it was discovered that I do, in fact, have breast cancer. I thought, ok, I can deal with this. Just a speed bump in my life. Lets do some radiation, chemo and get it over with.
Imagine my surprise to find out it is not that easy to KILL cancer. Yesterday I had my first meeting with my oncologist - fancy way to say CANCER DOCTOR. Talk about information overload. Because of my family history of breast cancer (mom and sister) they are being aggressive in the treatment.
I have to have an mri of the brain. I figure they just want to double check that I still have one. Then a muga scan. Doesn't that sound like something you want to do? try saying it three times real fast - mugamugamuga. It checks your heart muscles to make sure they can handle the chemo. I don't know about you, but that scares the beejeebies out of me. How strong is this Chemo stuff and how can we use it to find Bin Laden? Then, I have to have a bone scan. I assured them that I know I have bones - in fact, I have broken several in my lifetime. They are still making me do it. And last, but I am sure really not last, I have to have a PET scan. Again, I told them I have pets - 2 cats. Can you believe they are still making me take it?
As if all this were not enough (remember I just found all this out yesterday) I have to have another operation to remove my lymph glands. At the same time they are installing a "port" for my chemo. I did not want a port - visions of tubes coming out of different places of my body flashed through my brain (see, I told you I had one). The nurse reassured me it would be under the skin. They have to do this because one of the chemos is so strong that if it leaks from my vein I would have to have plastic surgery (again, why can't it find Bin Laden). Well, I am already tired of all this surgery so I decided to go with the port.
The really funny thing is, I am very healthy (other that this cancer thing). I am never sick - seasonal allergies - so this is not something I am familiar with and really don't want to deal with. But, of course, I have no choice. No one has stepped up and volunteered to take the cancer for me and the chemo, etc. Where are all those volunteers when you need them?
I will say, my surgeon, Dr. Aaron Epstein, is an angel - as is his staff. They helped me get medicad. I have no insurance - gee, I think I am the only one in this country that does not have any right? So, if you are going through this or have to go through this and have no insurance, please, please know that there are programs out there for help. Ask your doctor.
I will keep you posted on the results of the mri on my brain - I really do hope they find one in there. Of course, if not, it really would explain a lot.
Sharon