FRIENDS

Thank you for being my friend. This blog is dedicated to all of you who have called, visited, prayed, brought food, money, etc. for me. I could not go through this without you. And, of course, God. My faith gets me through this. But my friends make it so much easier. I have been blessed by so many good friends. And, to be honest, a really good ex-husband. He and his wife have been so wonderful. I would try and list you all here, but am afraid I would forget someone and don't want to do that.
So, all of you, and you know who you are, please know that I love you and appreciate all that you do for me. You don't have to call every day. I know that you are there if and when I need you.
Thank you and I hope that I can do the same for each and every one of you. I am here for you also. And, when this is all over, we will celebrate with a big feast at the house. You all know how I love to cook for you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. And God bless each of you.

BURN BABY BURN

Okay, so I was a big cry baby in my last post. But, guess what? The pain in my feet was caused by burns. My hands and feet had 3rd degree burns. It seems that my body cannot tolerate the taxotere chemo. My friend, Trina, bought some cream for me to put on my hands and feet. It really helped. In a few days, I woke up to blisters on my hands and fingers. The cream that Trina gave me helped because the blisters were all dried when they appeared. For the next couple of weeks my hands looked like I had leprosy. Imagine putting your hands in a pot of scalding water. That is what it felt like. At least when they started peeling the pain was gone. When I went for my next round of chemo the cancer killer decided to wait another week to give my hands a chance to heal. But guess what? By the time I went for the follow-up and chemo my feet had started to peel. So, once again chemo was postponed. I have to call on Monday and let them know how my feet are doing and then have chemo scheduled for the next week. I am bummed about all this because it only stretches out the treatment. But, on the bright side, I feel great and will have another 2 weeks of feeling great.
My cancer killer and I discussed doing another chemo. This is one she uses on her "elderly" patients. She said it was not the best for the type of cancer I have. But, my body evidently does not like the taxotere and she said I would experience the burns every time I have it. So, I have decided to not do the taxotere and go with the old people chemo. I don't care if I have to have additional treatments. I am not going through this every time I have chemo. I have to work and cannot do it if I look like a leper.
On a brighter note, my sister, Camille, came to visit me last weekend. I felt pretty good except for the leprosy thing. She even went with me to the doctor.
Then, because I did not have chemo and felt good, Darya and the girls came to see me this past weekend. Talk about great therapy. Little Salym is walking now and so cute. Her sisters, Sydney and Savannah, spoil her. But you just can't help yourself she is so cute. Sydney, who is 11, and two of her friends are writing a book. I will keep you posted on it. Savannah is still the cutest cheerleader you ever saw. We had a great visit. We even had a dinner party Sunday night for some friends. Some of Darya's friends from school. They still come to the house and hang out. I love it!!!!!!
Darya went to the doctor with me on Monday. She asked a bunch of questions and we both decided that it was in my best interest to not to the taxotere chemo.
So, for now, I feel great and will for the next couple of weeks. Which is a good thing because I am going back to work at the Chive Blossom next week. I don't know about you, but that darn money tree I planted has yet to bear fruit. And all those creditors just don't seem to care that you have no money. So, it is back to work for me. That is another reason I am not doing the burning chemo. Who wants a leper waiting on them? I mean, I have lots of white gloves, but that would be a little strange - however, I just might have to resort to the "white glove treatment" if I have to do the burn chemo.
Cancer really does suck.

Round 4/Plan Nine

The results of my MUGA scan showed some difference in my heart. My Cancer Killer and I discussed it and decided to not have the last round of the red chemo. It could lead to congestive heart failure and I already have enough heart problems in my family without adding this to it. So this time it was taxotere and the c one. I can't remember their names. Don't want to.
I worked again on Monday and Tuesday night. I had a closing on Wednesday and was having lunch with Susan and Kathryn to celebrate Kathryn's 21st birthday (ha ha). By the time the closing was over I was fading fast. I went home and went right to bed. That night I was kept awake by this terrible pain in all my joints and bones. I kept taking extra strength tylenol but nothing worked. By the next morning I could not walk. My feet hurt so badly all I could do was cry. I am not a wussy but this really hurt. I finally remembered I had some pain pills left over from my surgery. I started taking them every 4 hours. I have to tell you that this pain was really really bad. I was still in pain when I went for my lab work on Monday. My Dr. said the pain was caused by the neulasta shot. We are going to try not doing it next time and see how my blood counts are. I am being totally honest with you - I can't take much more of this. The bone pain is gone but now I have something wrong with my feet - they burn and it hurts to walk. I have cried and prayed more in the past few days than since I was diagnosed. I just want it to all stop and I want my life back. I am tired of being tired and hurting. And, unless you have gone through this, you really don't know how I feel. No one can prepare you for all this. If they did, you would not go through it. I want to quit right now. I don't want to do any more chemo. I know that I will, but I don't want to. My fingernails hurt. I am sure they will be falling out soon. Cancer Rocks.

CHRISTMAS

The week of Christmas was my good week. I drove to Charlotte on Wednesday, followed by Richard. He always spends the 23rd with the family. We had such a wonderful time. Richard and Darya made this incredible shrimp casserole and we played games with the girls and enjoyed watching little Salym taking steps. Richard had to leave the next day to spend time with his family. Darya was hosting the DelCorro clan for Christmas this year so they started arriving on Christmas eve. Kelly, Junior and his friend Mary came. We made chicken marsala and had another great evening playing games, etc. Christmas day was wonderful. Sydney and Savannah were so excited by their gifts. Even Salym knew which ones were for her from Santa. She went right to them. Darry and Chris arrived that afternoon. They all stayed at Darya's while we went to John's mom's for Christmas with his family. It was great. By this time I was really tired. Darya drove me home and I took a nap. I know this family and I was not going to miss out on all the fun by having to go to bed. So I got up around 9 and we laughed, ate, played games and had a large time.
I had to leave on Saturday. I did get to see Susie and Ken and Christin and Michael before I left. I was so tired driving home I just wanted to get to Garden City. By the time I unpacked the car, unpacked all my stuff, it was 6:30. I decided to lay down for a little while. I woke up at 9 the next morning.
Chemo robs all your energy - it takes so long to do the simplest things. I don't think I will ever take for granted doing things like I used to.

ROUND 3/PLAN NINE

Again, this chemo went pretty much like the other two. I told my Dr. that I was experiencing shortness of breath. She decided to do another MUGA scan just to make sure everything was okay with my heart. We scheduled it for Thursday. I went to work that night and Tuesday night. All was fine. Then Wednesday arrived without a warning. Could not get out of bed. Who is this evil person that comes in the night and steals all my energy? I made it through the day by staying in bed. But Thursday came and I had to go to the hospital for my scan. I started getting ready early. I showered then had to lay down. This went on for about an hour. I was in tears by the time I finally got ready. I called my friend Sue and told her she might have to come drive me home. But, I made it. The people at the nuclear medicine department at Conway Hospital are so wonderful. I was able to rest in a waiting room after the injection of some radioactive stuff. Then of course was able to rest during the scan. I was even able to drive myself home and stumble to the bed where I remained until time to go to work on Friday. By the weekend I was feeling pretty good. I even baked some stuff for Christmas.
If you find out who or what is stealing all my energy, will you let me know?