If I only had a brain

Thursday was the first of my many tests and scans. I had an MRI on my brain. My friends insisted that I provide them with proof that I had one after the test. (They give me no slack) This time, I only had to have my head and part of my chest in the machine. They give you ear plugs because it is REALLY LOUD!! In fact, MRI really means we are going to try and burst your eardrums in the name of medical science. Once they put you in the machine, you can't move. Of course as soon as that happened my nose started to itch. Then I got a cramp in my foot. All the time noise is coming at you in all directions until I wanted to scream LET ME OUT. But if you do that, they have to start over. So if you have to have an MRI, just try and get through it because you don't want to have to do it twice. After it was over, I asked my friend who works there for a signed certificate to present to my friends proving that I have a brain. Her reply was "Sharon, we can't lie". Talk about insult to injury.
Then it was on to NUCLEAR MEDICINE for my muga muga muga test. They really should call it something other than Nuclear medicine. The name conjurs up images of atom bombs with IV's. This test is to check the muscles of your heart. It seems that the chemo is so strong it can damage your heart so they have to make sure you can take it. AGAIN, why can't we use this stuff on Bin Laden and his buddies?
They (really nice people) inject you with some radioactive stuff. Then you have to lie down and once again NOT MOVE while they take images of your heart. At least this one was not noisy. But ya'll know I have a hard time being still - especially for 20 minutes. I think I passed. They did not give me a certificate or anything, but they did let me leave. I have not had this many tests since real estate school.
When I got to work my friends wanted to see proof that they found a brain in the MRI. Since I didn't have any they are still insisting I don't have one. They do not give me any slack and I have cancer and everything!!