The results of my MUGA scan showed some difference in my heart. My Cancer Killer and I discussed it and decided to not have the last round of the red chemo. It could lead to congestive heart failure and I already have enough heart problems in my family without adding this to it. So this time it was taxotere and the c one. I can't remember their names. Don't want to.
I worked again on Monday and Tuesday night. I had a closing on Wednesday and was having lunch with Susan and Kathryn to celebrate Kathryn's 21st birthday (ha ha). By the time the closing was over I was fading fast. I went home and went right to bed. That night I was kept awake by this terrible pain in all my joints and bones. I kept taking extra strength tylenol but nothing worked. By the next morning I could not walk. My feet hurt so badly all I could do was cry. I am not a wussy but this really hurt. I finally remembered I had some pain pills left over from my surgery. I started taking them every 4 hours. I have to tell you that this pain was really really bad. I was still in pain when I went for my lab work on Monday. My Dr. said the pain was caused by the neulasta shot. We are going to try not doing it next time and see how my blood counts are. I am being totally honest with you - I can't take much more of this. The bone pain is gone but now I have something wrong with my feet - they burn and it hurts to walk. I have cried and prayed more in the past few days than since I was diagnosed. I just want it to all stop and I want my life back. I am tired of being tired and hurting. And, unless you have gone through this, you really don't know how I feel. No one can prepare you for all this. If they did, you would not go through it. I want to quit right now. I don't want to do any more chemo. I know that I will, but I don't want to. My fingernails hurt. I am sure they will be falling out soon. Cancer Rocks.
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